SCENE: Back at Grace’s home. It’s 6:58 in the morning. Lights up on Grace wearing fuzzy slippers and a dowdy nightgown while doing aerobics with very small hand weights. Bubbles is asleep on the couch. From the t.v. the sounds of organ music and an evangelist can be heard. Bubbles rolls over and sleepily opens her eyes. She stares at the t.v.
BUBBLES
(Groaning.) Oh, my GAWD!
GRACE
(Only hearing the last portion of that. Clapping her hands excitedly.) Exactly! Amen!!
(Bubbles tries to clap along as she is still half asleep on the couch.)
BUBBLES
MMM….MMM. Praise the Lord.
GRACE
Well, good morning to you, sleepy head.
BUBBLES
Mornin’.
GRACE
How about I start us some breakfast, mmm?
BUBBLES
Oh, I picked us up a dozen donuts this mornin’ fer breakfast.
(Bubbles hands Grace the box.)
GRACE
Well, thank you Bubbles.
(She turns to go into the kitchen as she opens the box.)
That is very sweet of you. (Pause.) Bubbles, there’s only half a donut in here.
BUBBLES
Oh? I was hungry.
GRACE
To the say the least.
BUBBLES
Sorry.
GRACE
Not to worry. I’ll start me some breakfast since you’re not hungry.
BUBBLES
But, Gracie, I’m starvin’.
GRACE
Well, then I’ll make us both some breakfast, you p-i-g hog!
(She laughs in that “I’m such a morning person laugh” as she crosses over to the kitchen area. Unknown to Bubbles, Grace begins to make coffee.)
BUBBLES
(Stretching and starting to get up.) Whoo, damn, I’m beat.
(She crosses to the A.C. raising each arm to cool her off.)
GRACE
Was that you I heard coming in at four thirty?
BUBBLES
(a yes.) MMM…MMM.
GRACE
What on earth were you doing out so late?
BUBBLES
(slight pause) Got a job.
GRACE
Doing what?
BUBBLES
Umm…..workin’ the graveyard shift at Ruby’s All Night Beauty Parlor and Homeless Shelter.
GRACE
Over in Goodwater?
BUBBLES
Uhh…yeah….yep. (She crosses back to the couch.)
GRACE
(Crossing to Bubbles with a glass. Surprised.) Well, Bubbles, that’s very Christian of you. Working at the homeless shelter. Tang?
BUBBLES
Thanks.
GRACE
It fills my little heart with joy to know that you found yourself a nice charitable job to fill your evenings.
BUBBLES
MMM…MMM. Mine too.
GRACE
Maybe now that you’re back in Opelika, you’ll attend church more regularly. (Very excited.) Who knows? You might meet someone special. Someone who won’t up and leave you on a whim.
BUBBLES
God willin’. (They smile at one another.)
GRACE
I’m in a Bible club that meets every Friday night. How about joining us next week?
BUBBLES
(slight pause) There’s a thought!
GRACE
If you’ll pardon my saying so……After the catastrophe with that….what’s his name…what’s his name? Johnny?
BUBBLES
(mumbles) Howard.
GRACE
With that Hubert.
BUBBLES
Howard!
GRACE
Pardon?
BUBBLES
Howard. His name is Howard. Howard!
GRACE
Anyhoo, after that catastrophe with that HOWARD, you could use a reliable man in your life. (She starts stirring the food furiously.) I mean really!! Up and leaving you…..
BUBBLES
Aww, I don’t wanna talk about it.
GRACE
Come on, sis. You can be open with me.
BUBBLES
Naw, I’d rather not…
GRACE
Well, it’s my personal opinion…(Bubbles gives her a look.) How do you want your eggs cooked?
BUBBLES
Over easy.
GRACE
Runny in the middle?
BUBBLES
Please.
GRACE
Now, where were we? Oh, yes! You were telling me why Howard left you. Was it drugs?
BUBBLES
I said drop it.
(Bubbles is getting fidgety.)
GRACE
Alcohol?
(Bubbles starts fishing in her bag for gum.)
BUBBLES
(Warning.) Grace.
GRACE
(Very rapid, almost overlapping.) Wheat or rye?
BUBBLES
Wheat.
GRACE
Butter or margarine?
BUBBLES
Butter.
GRACE
Money or another woman?
BUBBLES
Dammit, Grace. I’m warnin’ ya.
(Instead, Bubbles finds another pack of cigarettes. She angrily crumples them up and tries to toss them into the trashcan but misses.)
GRACE
All righty. (Pause.) Did he hit you?
BUBBLES
(crossing to the trash can)
Grace, who knows why? I don’t know why. All I know is I came home from work, exhausted, ready to git right in bed. But I can’t! An’ why not?? Because Howard had fuckin’ ridden off with our trailer! Gracie, when I called you an’ told you I have no home, I meant I HAVE NO HOME! All that was left was a big ol’ patch a grass and a propane tank with a note stuck on it with grape gum sittin’ in the middle of the “Land of Oz” trailer park.
GRACE
With all your stuff? My word! How tragic!
BUBBLES
(sweetly) Are my eggs ready yet?
GRACE
Do you know where?
BUBBLES
(Back to fishing in her bag.) What?
GRACE
Do you have any idea where he might have driven it to?
BUBBLES
I don’t know. Maybe back home or som’thin’.
GRACE
Home. Where’s home?
BUBBLES
Connecticut.
GRACE
You mean he’s a……(whispers.)…..Yankee?
BUBBLES
(finding her gum) Yes, Miss Scarlett. Can we drop it, please?
GRACE
He must of been running from something shady to come all the way to Birmingham.
BUBBLES
No, Grace. He wasn’t. As a matter a fact, he was gettin’ his doctorate at Harvard. An’ he was writin’ his dissertation on Zen Thought and the Southern Mind.
GRACE
How on earth did YOU two meet?
BUBBLES
He was my Tai Chi teacher. I think my eggs might be over cookin’.
GRACE
And then he up and left you. Leaving you without house and home…..literally!!
(She laughs in that ‘I shouldn’t be laughing, but I just made a funny and I can’t help it’ kind of way.)
BUBBLES
Grace?
GRACE
Yes.
BUBBLES
Can it!
GRACE
Ok. Ok. (Pause.) So, you took Tai Chi with him. What was that like?
BUBBLES
Festive and deeply spiritual.
GRACE
Here is your plate, Madam.
BUBBLES
Praise the Lord.
(Bubbles gets up and accidentally knocks her bag over. Money spills out of her bag.)
GRACE
Where did all that money come from?
BUBBLES
My salary.
(Bubbles is on the floor quickly and furiously trying to gather the money and put it in her bag.)
GRACE
In all fives and ones?
BUBBLES
Umm….Ruby don’t believe in big bills.
GRACE
Why not?
BUBBLES
She feels that….uh…..money is evil, ya know, sinful, an’ the bigger..uh…the bill the larger the sin. So, small bills-less…sin?
GRACE
(pause.) Mmm, good point. I’ll have to bring that up with Casey Stonewall at next month’s prayer group.
BUBBLES
With WHO?
(They’re sitting down to eat. Bubbles puts her gum on the edge of her plate.)
GRACE
Oh, you remember Brother Stonewall. He used to be the Choir director at Daddy’s church…
BUBBLES
Oh, I remember him quite fondly….and vividly.
GRACE
(very proudly) He’s not at Daddy’s church anymore.
BUBBLES
Well, I’d reckon not!
GRACE
What?
BUBBLES
Nuthin’. So how’s Daddy?
GRACE
Fine.
BUBBLES
I’m fixin’ta stop by the church an’ pay him visit. (Laughs.) Won’t he just shit!
GRACE
Bubbles, he’s really busy and this isn’t the best time…What with his heading the plans for the Tallapoosa Bass Fish and Bible Retreat, you’ll be lucky to catch him in his office.
BUBBLES
Well, I’ll try til I reach him.
GRACE
Bubbles, I really don’t recommend a Church confrontation of sorts.
BUBBLES
Aww, Gracie. I ain’t after that.
GRACE
I just think it would be wise if you….wait a little bit. Get all settled in.
BUBBLES
Oh. Right. Right. That’s a good point. I’ll..wait. Good idea. Bide my time. ‘Sides, I ain’t seen him in a century.
GRACE
Well, now who’s doing is that-Miss “I run off to Birmingham to live with my Mama.”
BUBBLES
But I had a choice an’ I took it. Jesus Christ, sis…
GRACE
What did I say to you about your usage of the Lord’s name?
BUBBLES
MMM…well, shit!
GRACE
I just don’t think he wants to see you, Bubbles. I’m sorry.
BUBBLES
He’s gonna hafta sooner or later.
GRACE
Well, he’s still very hurt. It took me a long time to help him recover from your blow. So, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to see him.
BUBBLES
Hurt? It’s been nine years for Chris…(Corrects herself.)…..goodness sake. That’s plenty a time!
GRACE
Bubbles, I’m warning you.
BUBBLES
Damn, don’t be gittin’ yer panties in a wad, Grace. It’s just time fer me an’ him….
(Randall enters in the same bathrobe. He crosses to the basement door as Grace pours herself a cup of coffee.)
BUBBLES
Well, hey Randall. How the Hell are ya?
RANDALL
(Mutters.) Hey.
(He goes downstairs. Grace takes a long sip of her coffee right near Bubbles’ nose. Bubbles is instantly nauseous.)
GRACE
Oh, whoops. My bad!!
(She knocks on the bathroom door. The sound of puking can be heard from the bathroom.)
GRACE
MMM…MMM…MMM. Bless her heart! (Pause. She smiles to herself and resumes her drinking.)
END OF SCENE